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The Elusive Miss Jean Louis

The Elusive Miss Jean Louis, A Little Known History

Little is known of the background and upbringing of the elusive Miss Jean Louis, she seems to have popped up on our radar sometime back in 2011 with the advent of GISHWHES. Beloved by all, and the well-known leash keeper of our friend and comrade Misha Collins, she has quickly won the love and adoration of Gishers worldwide (I myself have a 5 foot statue made out of kale displayed in my home in her honor).

As for what we do know of Miss Jean Louis, it’s mostly conjecture and hearsay but I do have it on good authority that she actually saved Mishas life, which henceforth,forever more, bonded the two rapscallions to a lifetime of friendship.

The year was 1994 and Misha was just a young buck, only 20 years old. Taking a break from his woodworking and carpentery in the Berkshire Mountains, he decided to indulge in a week long cruise to the Caribbean (he always was one to indulge, that Misha). Lounge singer and sometimes stand-up comic, Miss Jean Louis was working the cruise lines. It was a hard life, on the road (or seas) months at a time pandering to drunk, happy go lucky cruise goers. No friends, alone and adrift in the world, it was a lonely life, one she despised. But still she carried on (like a wayward son) for it was all she knew.

It was day 2 into the cruise when the high winds and rough waters began. Tossing the large cruise ship like the ball in a drunken game of hot potato (not that I would have any experience in that, obviously..), the vessel was tossed and heaved for 2 long days and nights, battered with rain, winds so high as to give you wind burn if you so much as dared to step out on deck.

Being the unwaveringly dedicated soul that she is (I’ve heard that she once won a staring contest against the Mona Lisa- but that’s neither here nor there), Miss Jean Louis sang for those 2 days, without rest or nourishment to provide comfort to those fearful (and at this point severely nauseous) cruise goers. Never wavering in her commitment to fulfill her job duties of providing quality musical entertainment for all aboard.

It was the end of day two when the winds, rain, and waves had finally reeked so much havoc on the ship that it could bear it no more. Under the strain and stress, it began to take on water. It began to sink.

The deck was filled with screams and panic as people quickly made their way to the life boats. Having no clue about proper emergency disembarking procedures (he had enjoyed perhaps one too many Mai Tais during the mandatory safety class on day 1) Misha panicked and jumped overboard. He quickly realized his mistake as he had never mastered the art of swimming began screaming for help.

 Miss Jean Louis witnessed the incident and quickly jumped into action, diving overboard to the rescue (it is rumored she once competed in the Olympic Games back in 1984 bringing home the gold in the 800 meter freestyle or the USA under the pseudonym Tiffany Cohen- but that’s just conjecture at this point).

Floundering around like bacon grease on a griddle, Misha gasped and gurgled. Miss Jean Louise quickly and deftly free styled her way to Misha, battling the choppy waves and needle piercing rain to grab ahold of Misha , flip him on his back, and safely place in a the America Red Cross approved hold while making her way to the nearest life raft. (There is some debate at this point if she delivered a death dealing blow to a circling shark with nothing but her well chiseled right leg, scissor kick style but I feel it’s worth mentioning in any case.)

Once they were both safety aboard the life raft (Misha a blubbering mess at this point so I’m told), Miss Jean Louis had an epiphany. Amid the torrid waves, unrelenting rain, and hurricane like winds, a small ray of sunshine peeked between the clouds, shining almost as if Rob Benedict himself was highlighting the significance of the moment. Bathed in a heavenly glow of otherworldly light, Misha (laying on the floor of the raft, fetal position) suddenly became her mission. It was clear to her that her lifetime of solitude was over, she had found her cause. From that moment on she left her life of riding the high seas and devoted it instead to babysitting…errr….friending Misha. The two became thick as thieves, inseparable. In fact, it was due to this life changing event that Misha finally decided to finally become a certified lifeguard.

And so goes the tale of the beginning of the lifelong, inseparable bond between Misha and Miss Jean Louise.